The College Campus/Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide

Surviving College and Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse: Why They’re Basically the Same Thing

When you think about it, the experiences of going away to college and living during the zombie apocalypse are eerily similar. Frankly, I can’t say that I haven’t more closely resembled “walker” than human after an all-nighter or two. Let’s break it down.

1. (EDIBLE) FOOD IS SCARCE – Let’s just say the dining hall food isn’t exactly something you’re writing home to Mom about. With a limited budget and ever-dwindling stash of slow-to-expire snacks, good food becomes harder and harder to come by. Suddenly, you’re willing to try unidentifiable solids in hopes of discovering a delectable delicacy that no one else dares touch. Baked brain, anyone?

Carl and Pudding

*Pro Tip: Get creative! Find a painless way of adding fruits or vegetables into your daily diet accompanied by some of these Dining Hall Hacks. Nuts and granola are great long-lasting, healthy snacks to have stored in your dorm room for those late-night cravings!

2. LACK OF SLEEP – College students are well-known for their little/varied amounts of sleep. Between going out with friends and staying up late to study, you can find yourself feeling, well, a bit like a zombie. Students and survivors tend to follow the same motto, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”.

Lack of Sleep

*Pro Tip: Get in a routine. Keeping on a schedule will help your body feel more energized and you’ll require less sleep to function efficiently.

3. HANDLING DIFFICULT ROOMMATES – Small living quarters, no privacy, dealing with different personality types, sharing your things and/or having your things stolen…sound familiar? Unfortunately, if you want to survive college (or the zombie apocalypse), you need to keep calm and find a way to get along.*Pro tip: Set some ground rules. Sometimes a roommate contract or an agreed upon schedule make for the best solutions to roommate issues before they even arise (find more tips here!).

Daryl Sunshine

4. BEING SEPARATED FROM LOVED ONES – Being homesick isn’t unusual for college students, especially in your first year. A lot of what is so hard about being away from home is missing your family, friends and, in some cases, your significant other. The best outlook to have is that you will be reunited in the future…even if it’s as “biter” baes.

Glenn go to Terminus

*Pro Tip: Keep yourself busy. If you spend all your time bumming out and thinking about your family and friends back home, you won’t get the best college experience you can. Join in on activities with others and make time to call and text your friends and family at the end of the day. Winter break will be here before you know it!

5. TRANSPORTATION IS HARD TO COME BY – Much like the end of days, finding someone with a car to cart you around in is just not that easy. Could you travel by foot to that class across campus? Sure. If you want to walk alone. At night. In the dark.

Lizzie and Mika on Train Tracks

*Pro Tip: Plan ahead. If you have a long ride on the bus to class, leave early and study before if you have extra time. You can also try biking to class – it can’t hurt to get some exercise!

6. COMMUNAL BATHROOMS – Okay. Sharing the bathroom with one person is one thing. But sharing a b-room with 20 people? That’s what I call a … less than ideal situation. And not that it really needs to be said BUT some people have more trouble keeping up with their hygiene than others. If it’s this bad in college, one can only imagine the horrors that await us during the apocalypse.

Shane in the Mirror

*Pro Tip: Bring flip-flops! Get in, get clean, get out. There isn’t much you can do to make the situation any better except make sure you aren’t part of the problem. Clean up your messes and hope that everyone else will do the same.

7. LACK OF CLEAN CLOTHES – The rules of how many times clothes can be worn until they are deemed “dirty” in college are very much skewed from the outside world. Underwear = 1 wear. Shirts = 2 wears. Sweaters = 5 wears. Jeans = Infinite wears. “Does it smell? No? Put it on,” might be the thought that crosses your mind when picking through that heap of rumpled clothes on the floor. Unfortunately, clean vs. dirty during the zombie takeover is probably more like, “Is it bloody? Yes, but only on the elbow? Put it on.”

Lori So Much Laundry

*Pro Tip: Febreeze. Reuse clothes without washing *in moderation* and Febreeze between each wear. Be sure you keep your used and new clothes separated so that the clean clothes don’t get “contaminated”.

8. IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID EXES – Your campus seems HUGE and filled with so many new faces…until your first break-up. Not only do you have to see their annoying face everywhere (SO annoying!), but you see their friends in the dining hall, their new love interest in your psych class, and their study group in your dorm lounge. Sadly, during college (or the zombie apocalypse), the only option is to accept it and move on. All the good ones are taken (or eaten).

Andrea Running from Governor

*Pro Tip: Move on. Relationships will come and go throughout college and you’ll look back on your break-ups a month or two later with a totally different perspective. Focus on your studies and having fun with your friends.

9. IT GETS REALLY HOT – Dorms without AC are quite common, especially at older universities. The sooner you embrace the fact that you WILL closely resemble a wet rat for the hotter months of the year, you’ll be better off. Air conditioning must never be taken for granted, and The Walking Dead has proven that.

Gabriel Collar

*Pro Tip: Be prepared. Make sure you have a few rotating fans for you and your roommate and (lots of) deodorant. It might even be time to try out that new ponytail ‘do or embrace your natural curls!

10. LACK OF EXERCISE WILL COME BACK TO BITE YOU – Don’t give up on that exercise routine just yet! With all of the changes in sleep, diet and stress, weight gain is not uncommon for college students. Fight off the “Freshman 15” with a healthy amount of exercise so that you don’t have to work twice as hard to get the weight off because…it will be a fight. Plus, toned biceps let you do cool things – like fight off walkers with a katana.

Michonne and the Sword

*Pro Tip: Stay on a schedule. Exercising doesn’t seem so daunting when you get into a daily routine. Not only will you keep the extra weight off but you will feel happier and more energized. Try this simple dorm room workout if you can’t make it to the gym.

You’ve survived! Don’t forget to check your Barnes & Noble College campus bookstore for our The Walking Dead Graphic Novel Displays! #ZomBNC

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